Tactical Retreat

“She generally gave herself good advice (though she very seldom followed it).”

--Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, Chapter 2
Just like Alice in Wonderland, thanks to Polly, I regularly give myself very good advice…

But like my 3 ½ year old I need to work on my listening skills.

In March I wrote an article for the SKORCH Network entitled Super Woman Syndrome. In retrospect I think it was actually a letter from Polly, begging me to PLEASE slow down and stop trying to do it all. A smack-up-the-side-of-my-own-head to remind me that I am NOT Super Woman, I do NOT have super powers, and that I should stop being so ridiculous!

Ummmm ya, again see lack of listening skills mentioned above.

By the end of May my list of regular obligations looked like this…

1. Bring home the bacon 9-4 at the day job.

2. Strive to be a good Mother by not warping Miss M too drastically.

3. Give Mr. Man enough attention to assure he’d stick around long enough to continue funding my addiction to somewhat questionable literature.

4. Connect with friends often enough to assure they’d continue to support my dependence on wine of questionable quality.

5. Write witty and thought provoking pieces for Taboo Talk column at SKORCH Network.

6. Eat, bathe, sleep, repeat.

7. Remember to connect with parents, brothers and sisters to occasionally enquire “What’s up?”

8. Create amazing content for new baby “Pep Talk Polly”.

9. Promote aforementioned “new baby”.

10. Achieve Global Domination.

So, when my partner in crime Jessica Kane mentioned partnering to build an agency specializing in web design and social media strategy, I should have said NO.

I should have said HELL NO!

(Full Disclosure: It was actually my suggestion, so I should have said HELL NO to myself, even as the idea formed in my brain!)

Except, for a second I forgot I wasn’t Super Woman, and Polly cheered “WE CAN DO IT!”, and I got super excited about working with my best friend and the thought of working the day job forever made me want to cry….

So....

I said “YAY, let’s do it”.

After which the full implications of the situation hit Polly smack in her “We can do it” face, and she stopped cheering and began cursing like a sailor. Polly knew the implications of my commitment way before I did.

I tried to keep all the balls going for about a week, with Polly’s curses getting louder and louder in my head. Then, finally, with white flag flying, I ordered an immediate tactical retreat.

Some things got ignored.

Projects were put on the back burner.

I wasn’t everything for everyone.

And guess what? The world didn’t end.

In fact by stepping back and slowing down I finally got a crystal clear picture of exactly where my efforts should be placed. I am now 100% laser focused on what I need to do to achieve my goals.

Sometimes, you just need to step back to see the big picture.

Refreshed, refocused and ready to spread her rays of sunshine to the furthest corners of crap, Polly’s back!

Are you ready for some fun?

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My Mom Hates Whistlers

Yes, you read that right. I said Whistlers. 

As in "Those-Who-Purse-Their-Lips-and-Expel-Air-Causing-a-High-Pitched-Birdlike-Noise"

Being a grown woman who has not lived with her mother for many years, this bizarre little factoid had completely slipped my mind, and for very good reason.

My Mom is one of the most positive people I know, and what could be a more positive activity than whistling?

I mean Whistle While you Work, Whistling Dixie, Whistle Your Cares Away...  

So recently when I was reminded of her irritated response to this seemingly benign and joyous expression, I had to seize the opportunity to get to the bottom of the mystery.

First, proof that I am not completely deluded when I say, my Mom is 100% upbeat and positive…

Mom, would you say “glass half full”, or “glass half empty”?

Definitely half full. There’s still liquid in the glass for goodness sake. Drink and enjoy!!

Okay, good. Just what I expected you to say. Next, what is the single most important philosophy you live by?

Enjoy each day as it happens. Don’t worry about the past, there’s nothing you can do about it except learn from your mistakes. Don’t worry about the future as it hasn’t happened yet and you’re wasting the day that you have in front of you.

Yup, I gotcha. Right in line with the woman who raised me. So, in the spirit of Pep Talk Polly, what is the best thing someone can do, in the moment, when they find themselves in a “pile of crap”?  

Laugh!!! It clears your mind and helps you to deal with whatever crap life hands you.

Perfect! Now, let’s get to the nitty gritty. You like music, right?

You bet. I love to sing along with a good melody.

Good so my memories of you singing to Miss M when she was little weren’t just the delusions of a sleep deprived mama! Thank goodness for that! So, if you love music and singing, what gives, what do you have against Whistling?!?!?

There are very few people who do it well and it hurts my ears. It’s like nails on a chalk board.

I see. So you’re sort of a whistling snob.  Only the best for your ears.  Do YOU know how to whistle?

A little, but I’m terrible at it.

Interesting!  Could it be your dislike is a little bit of jealousy?  How about when the Dwarves sing “Whistle While You Work”, in Disney’s Snow White? Feel any urges to duct tape their mouths closed?

Not really. The Dwarves do it well and it’s fun to listen to. It fits the theme of the story and makes you tap your feet to the music.

Ah, I see! So, it’s not that you hate all whistling, just the people who suck at it.   Whenever I whistle I inevitably hear the disapproving, “Amanda, really?!?”, so I guess that's you saying MY whistling sucks.

Ouch, gotta say that stings just a little! Hmmmmmm, how do you feel about humming? Is that okay?

I don’t mind humming unless the person is lousy at it and/or hums the same thing over and over and over again. If that’s the case, they should be shot along with any whistlers!!

Yikes, message received! No more whistling in front of you! I’ve got a child to raise!

Or maybe I’ll get some lessons. Anyone know a Master of Whistling?

In the meantime, in honor of Mother’s Day, what weird pet peeve does your Mom have?

Here’s to you Mom, I promise I will refrain from whistling in your honor today.  LOVE YOU!!!

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